The other night (I can’t believe I’m admitting this to you guys) I went into my Instagram feed and started shame-scrolling through all my old posts, finding things about myself that I hated.
Your style is not that great.
Your hair looked better before.
Your legs look so chunky in that one.
Sloppy.
Lame.
Your captions were better back in the day.
All over the place.
Uninspired.
It was brutal and it was admittedly a huge waste of time. I wish I hadn’t done it. I don’t know why I did. I usually have a slightly better filter with the negative self talk. But it happened. And while I’m trying not to dwell on it, it did get me thinking about where I stand and what my goals are for all of this.
Ok now brace yourselves for a brain dump. And if the whole clothing talk is not your thing, no offense taken. I’ll let you know when the next Stevie post goes up.
PART A: BLOG STUFF
So when I did my first mom style post back in 2012, I did have some long term goals to get affiliate sponsors through my blog so that I could make a little side money putting together outfits and showcasing certain brands. But I didn’t know much about real blogging at all, and everything has changed a lot throughout the years. So it turned out to be harder than I thought. And my creative shlump, yes SCHLUMP, this past year certainly didn’t help matters.
I have been able to slowly grow my Instagram following, and I’ve been able to partner with some amazing brands along the way — but I’m definitely feeling discouraged about most of it. Algorithm. (People on IG say algorithm a lot). Everything I post leaves me wondering if this is what people will want to see as well as get the attention I need to help me get affiliates and become a bona fide brand influencer while still staying true to my values? (The short answer is no!) So while I enjoy putting together outfits, my excitement behind it all goes up and down on the daily. Those selfies are no joke, and do take up a lot of time. But I gotta post something! And considering that I keep things as simple as possible (little makeup, no staging, no photographer) I’d say I’ve done pretty well. Just can’t get to the next level ya know?
Without a clear direction and being able to give it 100%… I think I’m kinda done with working toward the affiliate/sponsor thing. I have been turned down more than once, and while I’m all for a never-give-up mentality, at some point I have to know my limits. I’ll still partner with some of the awesome brands I’ve been working with, but I do realize that being a successful blogger is like catching lightning in a bottle, and sometimes ya don’t got it. It’s fine.
And I feel like now that that’s in the open and I’ve typed it out loud, I can move on and go back to writing for fun.
PART B: CAPSULE WARDROBE
Now, another thing I am realizing is how much of my brain power is going toward clothes in general. (My husband coulda told ya that.) Granted, I find that looking at clothes and following style blogs and finding inspiration around the web is a legit and necessary escape from what is going on with Stevie (which is always a lot), not to mention everything going on in the world too (!!!) But it also kinda feels like clothes are really important to me when they don’t need to be.
To clarify, I do think it’s important for me, personally, to make responsible purchases. Purchases that will do as little damage to people and the environment as possible. And I think it’s important that I keep learning to make clothes. I don’t want to get lazy about style. But it’s starting to feel like my voice regarding clothing is just added noise to an already overwhelming digital world.
I started my capsule wardrobe journey 4-ish years ago and I have succeeded in keeping my wardrobe on the small side, but I evaluate it constantly and I continue adding items to my shopping list and I get buyer’s remorse. But like just this one more thing and I’ll be complete!
Logically, I should have known it doesn’t really work that way. The process is never-ending, and now, a few years into it, I’m coming around to that realization. When I talked to Paul about it, he even laughed at me, asking “did you really think that you would come up with a perfect capsule wardrobe and just wear those clothes for the rest of time? Even when you’re like 60?” And I shrugged. I guess I kinda did, however ridiculous that sounds.
I just sort of kept trying to revamp my so-called capsule wardrobe and make it fit into whatever season of life I was in.
It started out with no shopping for a year.
Then I minimized my wardrobe to 40 pieces each season.
Then I wanted a year-round capsule so I didn’t have to pack seasonal items away — just wanted all my clothes to just fit comfortably into my teeny tiny closet.
This Fall I had a plan to put my favorite items on a separate rack (without packing anything away) to make a Base Core Capsule-ish, while my other clothes are still accessible if I need them.
But at what point is this just a straight-up normal wardrobe?
It seems kind of silly to keep referring to it as a capsule now. I keep making rules and regulations for myself — which do help in a lot of ways — but can also be a bit much. It gives me a lot of opportunity to break those made-up rules and do it “wrong”. Which doesn’t feel good. It’s like I’m letting myself down.
So. I still want to simply find contentment with what I have. NEVER SHOP AGAIN. JK JK JK, I take it back, let’s not get carried away. I like shopping. But I think the bottom line is that I just want to BE CHILL ABOUT CLOTHES.
Breezy, if you will. Easy and slow. No frantic feelings. No desperate needs. Keep an air of calm about shopping. Don’t get too caught up in shiny new things, don’t compare what I have to others, but also move away from that feeling that I’m doing things right or wrong. No fancy names or labels. It’s something I have to be conscious of, but can’t obsess over (kind of like my weight! I get exactly the same way! And I’m just now realizing this may be a character flaw.) Hoping I can loosen up on rules and still keep my wardrobe in check.
With all that in mind, I have a quick question for ya:
Would you like to continue seeing day-to-day outfit posts on my social media or would you rather see it go back to more of a lifestyle/journalistic flow with the occasional outfit post?
DO YOU EVEN CARE, REALLY?!
loves,
jaana
Hi there. I stumbled on your blog as I was sucked into Pinterest tonight. You are adorable. I love your style and your comment on “no heels”! I’m so tired of these fashion pics of girls wearing heels I couldn’t even stand in…let alone walk! Thanks for your transparency. I really enjoyed reading your “about” section too! You are a gifted writer and I enjoyed getting some outfit ideas as well.I can relate to your thoughts on your capsule wardrobe…that seems to be like chasing the wind for me. I’m a stay-at-home mom in TN and I don’t need a black pencil skirt and dressy clothes, but I do want to look cute and feel good in what I wear. I also appreciate your mentioning buying ethical clothing as I am learning about that. I have to admit that I rarely go to other social media sites other than Pinterest, but I think I will check in on your blog from time to time. Know that you have inspired, challenged and encouraged me this evening as I read a little from your blog so thank you and keep being you!
I’m a big fan of the style posts – there’s not a lot of bloggers out there who do the ethical fashion thing and in a way that actually looks comfy. But if you don’t enjoy ’em, don’t do ’em! Will still read your other posts, for sure 🙂
haha! Your blog post sounds like the inside of my head!!! I love it! I haven’t been at the “capsule” thing as long (a year)…but have managed to experience a lot of the same capsule wardrobe roller coaster and capsule obsessions as you. I need to loosen up too. How do we do that?!! I don’t have a blog or instagram, so I think that helps keep things somewhat in check for me. I do love reading people’s style blogs, but lately, not so much the ones that are too…I don’t know what the word is…inauthentic? These people seem like they have professional photographers following them around and have new and AMAZING fast fashion clothes EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. They are beautiful and artsy….but not, genuine. And not very connected to me.
I’m bookmarking your blog because it seems really authentic. Please keep posting!
I also love your mission to buy ethical clothes, as I’m trying that as well.
Thanks so much for the thoughtful comment. Very much appreciated!
I really love your blog, your IG feed, your style and your humor….but honestly, one of the biggest reasons I love following you is because you’re Authentic!
I never get the feeling that you are telling us that this shirt is “the best EVER,” or those pants “are to DIE for,” just because you are trying to sell us something. I stopped following some of my very favorite bloggers, because every time I saw something they posted, it was like they were just trying to make money. I feel like they lost what made them special when they collaborated with all those affiliates.
So keep being you….even if you don’t have a “like-to-know-it” on every post…because that’s what makes you stand out in my book. 🙂
Seconded – the cheesy product placement, blown-out photos, painfully obvious staging and super inauthentic/desperate vibe of so many blogs these days is happily absent here 🙂
Honestly, I keep coming back for the personal posts and the style posts! You come across as a real, relatable person and I think that is what is so interesting and lovable about this blog. I love your style too, obviously. It is probably what first drew me in. Even when the blog is quiet for a while, I check it regularly. Just keep on being you, it is enough!
Thank you Alice. Those few little words “it is enough” means so much. I hope someone else who needs to hear that right now does. I will be sure to pay those words forward myself. <3
Honestly, this process it’s so normal – from the self-shaming on the imperfect instagram feed to the ‘i’ll be a successful influencer and make money –> no I won’t, I suck’ continuum – I’ve done all of that too, and so have a TON of blogging friends. Your voice is important, I love your outfit posts, your captions are eternally endearing and witty, you’re honest and vulnerable and bright and wonderful and please keep your internet space forever! It’s fun for us, I promise, so concentrate on what makes it fun for you, too.
Janna- I was so glad to find you a few years ago when you did a collab post with Caroline from Unfancy. You were easy to fall in love with as a blogger. You’re authentic and you add value for a diverse audience. I know the affiliate thing can be lucrative, but it’s also a risk and challenging to find the right partners. I stopped following a few other bloggers because their content became forced. I mean, I love Mrs. Meyers soap too, but seeing a post about how to organize your kitchen sink is just…lame. Thank you for staying genuine to what you know, struggle with and care about. And hey- sometimes when you stop looking, things have a way of finding you and working out. I appreciate you!
Gah! The Un-fancy thing was so fun and I’m glad so many people stuck around after that. And thank you for sharing your thoughts and support. It means a lot!
Friend I love your style, your hair, your humor and your ability to be honest with yourself! I love your sewing projects, they inspired me to sew more, be creative and to try new things! I hate that you looked through your feed and felt negative toward yourself 🙁 I think you are a happy light to the world of a brace women (and mother!) trying to figure things out. Text or mesage me anytime you need a pick me up- I think you’re awesome!!!!
Thank you so so much. I’m so humbled by your sweet comment. And I’m so glad I have some seamstresses following me, I might need y’all’s help if I incorporate more sewing into the blog! 🙂
You are one of my favorite bloggers because you’re real you’re not trying to overly impress someone with what you’re writing. You are just writing real life. I love the Stevie posts too – he a doll! One thing I truly thank you for is keeping politics out of your blog. It’s so refreshing to come to a blog and get what you’re expecting from that blog. Whether it be about clothes, house things, craft things, quilting or whatever. Blogs are a fun place to escape and it’s nice to get what you came for. You are putting yourself out there and showing others that perfection is not necessary in life to be happy. And let’s face it – it’s just clothes or it’s just stuff. Stuff and clothes are suffocating and if we put too much thought into either one of those I think at this point it’s just a waste of time. I think as I age you come to that point of “no filter”. My friend and I always laugh about that because as we get older we really don’t always think about what we’re saying. We aren’t hurtful but not so PC either. We say we’ve become our mothers (who we both lost too soon in our eyes) So take the filter off and have some fun!
Haha I love that you’re like your mothers! I still have mine around and I kid you not people think we are sisters. So obviously I’ve picked up a few things. As for the rest of your thoughts, I SO appreciate them. Thank you for taking the time to respond. 🙂
Girl I will read anything and everything you want to post. You’re hilarious and have fantastic style and are REAL. That ain’t too common on social media these days!!
We’ll hot damn! Thank you!! You’re an easy audience 😉
I totally agree!! Keep doing what you do! Please!!!
Please, continue both!
Just found you online TODAY and was thinking, whoa, what a fresh sense of style and authentic point of view! So glad I found you. I need style inspiration and you have already given me lots of it. I empathize with you on your journey to what’s next – just remember that we must be true to who we are. Thanks for sharing all those parts of your life and telling this story straight up. May you be encouraged with all these replies to do what you love and feel led to do.
Thank you thank you thank you! I appreciate that important advice to be true to who we are. I feel so much more free now that I’ve put it all on the table, and I’m excited to move forward! 🙂
Thank you so much Jaana. This post is so honest and points out some paradoxes in the slow living movement where content creators are concerned. It’s so hard to talk the talk and walk the walk as an influencer who is trying to influence people to.. not shop as much? to not obsess over clothes in a consumerist way? What a bizarre problem to have! Thank you for sharing your journey with us. <3
Thanks for reading and for your candid response. I keep thinking that at least those of us who are trying to influence others in a positive way are in this together! 🙂
I feel the same way most of the time. I really can’t get it up for outfit shots most of the time, even though I feel like I should. I think knowing and accepting that it’s an always evolving thing and that sometimes you’ll want to put more into it and that sometimes you get burned out is enough. I’d love more lifestyle stuff, but keep the outfit posts too!
Isn’t it interesting how we put this pressure on ourselves? We think we SHOULD do this or that, but really not many people have these expectations of us. I would never look at your blog and think “it’s about time for this lady to do some outfit pics”. I already like what you do. You know what I mean? Ah, anyway thanks for your feedback and suggestion! 🙂
Jaana – your style is rad. Keep doing you. I so appreciate your honesty – it is a breath of fresh air in the fashion blogging world (even in the ethical/capsule blogging world!). I totally have the same questions (as I constantly think about my wardrobe) – does any of this even matter? Is the perfect closet (that I keep trying to put together) attainable/will I ever be happy with it? I’m coming to the realization that we are flexible and creative human beings…which probably means we want the same in our closets, aka will probably never be okay with our closets never changing. I was also reading “The Truth about Style” last night and thinking through why we do what we do – why clothes even matter – and for me, it has to be framed in the mindset of personal confidence and creativity. Cultivating my personal style, not following the latest fashion or blogger trends, is my goal in this journey. Cliche – but it is more about the journey, the every day outfits, the things we learn, rather than the destination.
I’d be good with both your journalistic and outfit posts – love them both!
Oh my gosh. I love this so much. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and process — nailed it!! I will definitely look into reading that.
Hi friend, I love hearing all this. And I can so relate. I definitely suffer from thinking-about-clothes-too-much-syndrome. I want to be chill too! That’s probably because chill does not come easy for this girl. As far as your content on IG, can you do both? Keep sharing your OOTDs, but I love your other stuff too! But I also think your stories are my favorite. This is TOTALLY cliché and I don’t usually say this, but do what feels right. Your instincts are so important with this kind of stuff!
Now can you come help me strategize my stuff? ><
Lovey, thanks for reading and for relating! It feels like something is in the air — our search for contentment is being challenged maybe. But I like your suggestions and appreciate your comments and support so much. We’ll figure this out someday! <3 And now that I've given up the search for affiliates, I have some free time and free brain space, so I can work for you!! 😀
This completely resonates with me! I think now that people have seen really, amazingly successful bloggers, there’s this pressure that you need to be like that to be, idk, a good blogger. And I also would really like to achieve a stress-free attitude about shopping. Why is it stressful?? Why does thinking about clothes consume so much of my time and energy?? Anyway, completely support all you’re trying to do! Btw, I’m here via the ethical fashion bloggers fb group:)
<3 Cat
restitchstance.com
Ah! Your blog is so great, and I hope you are successful in whatever sense that means to you! Thanks for checking in here and for being so relatable. <3
Gosh I could have written this Jaana! Seriously. Every single word. I have been feeling all of these things lately and I’m also tired of writing for brands instead of writing because it’s what I’m thinking and feeling and not caring how it’s received by anyone. I kind of had a come to Jesus moment last night where I just decided to screw it and do whatever the hell I want and not care anymore. I love that you’re in that space as well. As far as content, just do what you want to do and I’ll follow along! 😘
Karin | truncationblog.com
Good for you!! You really do reach a point and an age and a season where you just have to be yourself. And I love ya for it. I’m a Karin fan 4 lyfe. 🙂
Look at us all here, feeling the same feels! Maybe we need a mutual chill out strategy – haha! Love the authenticity.
We’re going to need a group intervention! Haha! <3
I LOVE all of your posts! I really love your timeless minimal style & respect your open sharing even more now that I know your mentality behind the scenes—I don’t mind what you posts as long as you just stay true & stay YOU! #youareenough
Such kind, kind words! Ah, thank you so much <3
I know exactly how you feel re: wanting to be a blogger/influencer/online creative. I think so much of this is about timing and aesthetic and just nailing a concept on the head. But so many factors have to be in perfect play and balance for that to take off to result in something really popular and that breaks through the noise. I haven’t really hit it to the degree that other popular online personalities have, but the few brands I have worked with, I have absolutely loved from the start, so from my perspective I’ve already achieved my goal :p I also know exactly how hard it is to set up your own photos without someone else helping you, and the time it takes to change into several outfits and then taking a bunch of photos hoping that one of them will be ‘the one’. It’s time consuming and sometimes downright un-motivating.
Personally as viewer I still love your outfit photos; they are the thing I connect with because our lifestyles and times we are at in life are completely different to each other. However, knowing what it’s like on both sides of the fence, you need to take the photos you want to take and write about the things you want to write about that give you satisfaction. Because there’s no point in just trying to please the masses if you’re not pleasing yourself!
Cindy, you are totally speakin’ my language right now. Thank you! And great advice — “no point in just trying to please the masses if you’re not pleasing yourself!” TRUUUUU!
Post want you want kid….it’s all good x
YEAH!!
Jaana,
I love everything that you post because it’s honest and real and generally positive. I enjoy the clothing struggle pieces because so many women have the same thoughts. If you’re asking for an opinion, I’d say post what you want to post and we will continue to read it and love it.
Thanks for the continued support babe. We all miss you guys!! Hope TX is treating you right. <3
I love all your posts, especially the outfit posts (i confess). I love how honest you are about everything, and I also love that you aren’t constantly partnering with this or that brand as I feel like I can trust you more. But post whatever gets you excited! That’s the way it should be. Thanks for being someone I’m never conflicted about following. 😊👍
Wow, that is so nice to hear. Thank you so much, Jessica. I really appreciate the support! <3
This post really resonates with me. I care very much that my shopping habits are ethical and that I’m putting my money where my values are. However, I keep justifying purchase large and small on this idea that I could somehow make the perfect wardrobe and then never have to spend/think about it again. Yet to happen.I’d like to blame society for making it’s so concerned about our appearances but it’s not exactly that. For some reason, my style is an important part of my identity. Just would like to devote significantly less effort to it. Haha
To answer your question: I love your outfit posts but don’t really care how frequently you post them.
I’m with you there about style being part of my identity. It IS just important to some people! I guess we have to look at the bigger picture — be a conscious consumer overall. Maybe we’ll achieve that “perfect” wardrobe someday, maybe not. But at least we are being mindful along the way.
I get a lot of inspiration from your daily posts! But, I also love your journalistic pieces as well.
Thanks so much for the feedback!