Let’s talk about appreciation. When people message me asking:

How do I do this?
How do I stop wanting new things?
How do I turn off my FOMO?
How can I QUIT shopping?

I’m thrilled to share #thefourshoppingrules, and all the other little tricks I have learned over the years to slow down in the moment. But the real secret — at the risk of sounding totally cheesy and cliche — is that the biggest shift comes when you start looking at what you have with appreciation, instead of focusing on all the things you want.

When you can mentally change your perspective to see that you have enough and you are enough… the desire/coveting/anxiety will eventually quiet down because you know you’re set. What if you looked at your wardrobe and instead of thinking about all that’s missing, you remembered the time that you wanted all these things?

Our Stuff Doesn’t Define Us

This is not to say that we should never want or admire new things. Clothing is a necessity and such an expression of who we present to the world. It’s a wonderful pick-me-up. Yet knowing that it does not define us is key. A small part of us, yes. But we are no more or less human with or without our STUFF.

Deep down I think we realize — there’s no article of clothing that will change our lives or fix our problems or make us better people in any way. But it feels hard to remember that with the latest drops and hauls and people happily consuming more-more-more all around us.

It reminds me of a lesson I learned with a particular pair of $400 pants. I (nervously) got them, they were cool — albeit ridiculously uncomfortable — and when it was all said and done, I couldn’t get over the fact that they were just pants. And I was still just me. In really overpriced pants. So why did they feel so important in the moment? When I realized how silly it all was, my decisions became easier. Most of the time anyway.

Learning

Now make no mistake, this reminder is mostly for myself today. I woke up crabby after being sick and dealing with bouts of insomnia and struggles in the parenthood department. Not appreciating much! I could happily get some retail therapy done. But what good would it do in the long run. Coming to this conclusion, however, has been years of practice. Nothing I share here is an easy, overnight fix. I’m simply hoping the combination of all this information will be helpful in some way as you put in your own work.

And going back to appreciation — I simply think that gratitude is a great place to start, no matter what topic we’re talking about.

loves,
jaana