January was several years long, and now all of a sudden it’s March!The other night as I dozed off, I dropped my phone right on my face. Paul thought it was much more funny than I did.I’m doing a “real model” shoot tomorrow for The Garment and I’m really excited but also really freaking out.…
I haven’t shaved my legs in months. Solid perk of winter. Getting a dog has really made it look like I stepped up my sweeping game. He keeps our kitchen floor pretty darn clean. I get so sleepy driving to Stevie’s therapy, I’ve taken to eating a daily lollipop — for safety purposes. When the…
We are in love. With our bidet. Yes I said it. And sure, I may have accidentally sprayed myself in the shoulder while learning to use it, but now I’ve got it handled alright? Tushy FTW!Drinking tequila and going for a walk is either a great idea or a terrible one, it’s just all about…
Stevie’s renditions of Wheels on the Bus, Itsy Bitsy Spider, and Fancy by Iggy Azalea are really something else. Yes, body. 9pm does seem like a great time for a 45 minute nap — until you actually have to go to bed. I was admiring how long my nails had gotten and within 10 minutes…
It’s been awhile since I’ve had a confessions post! Either funny things have stopped happening to me, or I’ve lost my sense of humor. Or I’m just too busy to remember anything funny. We had to buy a baby gate for the dog. So that he’d stop pooping in the living room in the middle…
We finally caught up on Game of Thrones. Pretty good show, I guess. Gimme a glass of wine, and it’s the most amazing thing ever put on television. Sometimes I let the dog run around like an insane maniac, for the sole purpose that it makes Stevie laugh so hard that he can hardly breathe. Before…
There are two types of people in this world. Those who use a Squatty Potty and those who don’t know what that is. When your cat gets into the dog treats and eats every single last one and you wake up to barf and poop all over your bathroom. (Thanks for not ruining my rug…
Nothing like hearing your kid shout “Mom! Penis!!” over and over while driving around because he can’t quite pronounce Prius. It’s gotta be the most common car in LA. I thought it was so weird that they sold succulents at the grocery store. Then I bought two. Because I have a problem. No but seriously,…
Paul and I went to a timeshare presentation almost 2 years ago, purely for the free vacation and prize vouchers. Our vouchers all expired and we are still waiting for available dates to cash in that vacay. I know they are just hoping we will forget about it – but what they don’t know is Jaana never forgets about…
It’s been so long since I shaved my legs that my pants feel really weird against my bare skin. I have started snoring again. But why?? The last time I snored like this, I was very pregnant and probably about 70 pounds heavier. No snoring! I had a beautiful weekend getaway with my husband to…