I have never been more impressed with my husband’s patience than when Stevie sneezed a mouth full of food ALL OVER him, and he barely even flinched. Father of the Year status. Sometimes my brain to mouth filter does not work cohesively. Or my brain to fingers filter when I’m texting. Or my brain in…
I’ve been having pain in my thumb joints. And sadly, I think it might be from scrolling on my phone too much. The other day my husband asked why I was acting weird and I told him it was probably from having the same conversation with Stevie 7,000 times that day. He said “well that’s…
I am one of those Californians who saves water from the bath in a bucket and then gives it to her plants. But, given the opportunity, I’ll gladly waste gallons upon gallons of water to take a 30-minute shower. I can’t believe John Travolta is the same person who played Danny Zuko. I just can’t. I was…
Last weekend, I got my license to be a stripper (and the bruises to match). This was in Vegas at a class titled Pole Dancing 101. Seems pretty official! I do parties! And take champagne as payment! I think the holidays, and weeks on end of a packed schedule, and weekend getaways… they all finally caught…
At our Christmas party, I put the dessert in the oven with the Saran Wrap still on top. Blame the a-a-a-a-alcohol. I don’t think I’ve been giving blush enough credit. Since I’ve had mild rosacea my whole life, I just never thought I needed it or even understood how to use it. But I piled it on…
I had a teenager give me a tutorial on how to use SnapChat. There is no turning back now. (Username: themomgonnasnap) When Stevie wants to put something in his “cock-et”. I react like a 12 year old boy. Or a 36 year old husband. The most stressful day I had this week was when my…
IS IT FRIDAY YET? (Well it wasn’t when I wrote this. But I guess it is now.) Also, I nearly passed out when I got an email yesterday that was titled Two Weeks til Xmas. I need a security system for all the security system salesmen who stop by our house. I took Stevie to…
Gadoo has been sneezing and it’s just about the cutest thing ever! Dare I say, even slightly cuter than a baby sneeze, and we all know how adorable baby sneezes are. It kind of makes me like him again. I’m obviously doing a lot of fantasizing about decorating our new place. Visions of a clean/mid-century…
I have never shopped on Black Friday. And I’m not even the slightest bit curious. Just ain’t about that life. I swore up and down I would NOT overdo it on Thanksgiving with the eating. The lies I tell myself year after year. We slept about 8.5 hours last night and I feel amazing. Is…
Stevie says the weirdest things lately. But when I hear “I wanna call dad tell him Stevie farted on Gadoo’s head” I can’t help but count the words and think what a great sentence he almost made! Besides the house and backyard and upcoming decorating about to take place (the decoratiiiiing!!!), another reason I’m excited…