The thing I look most forward to on the weekends is the food. I eat with no guilt. Because, like I always say, calories don’t count on weekends. Or vacations. Or special occasions. Or on bad days… Hmm… And then I wonder why the white pants I pulled out of storage from last year don’t…
I was talking to Stevie’s therapist about games where he throws and mentioned that “I can’t handle balls flying at my face”. It took everything I had, but I kept it together and didn’t laugh! Our neighbors were coming in the elevator with us and I didn’t want them to know we were eating McDonald’s…
Getting a stomach bug when you’re older is the worst – I didn’t even lose any weight! Haha. But nothing feels better than feeling better. And showering for the first time in days. Being at the mercy of Stevie P. when you run out of toilet paper is interesting. After 20 minutes of yelling directions…
My brain and I are never ever ever getting back together. Like ever. Remember those very expensive prescription sunnies I scratched? Well I scratched them again. And then I used a screen cleaner on them, which wiped the Ray-Ban logo right off. Then I left them in a dressing room and didn’t realize it until…
Hello, my name is Jaana and I may have just overdone it on the self tanner. Paul and I had a date night a few weeks back. We saw Whiplash and then ate Hot Dog on a Stick at the mall like a couple of gosh darn teenagers. It was pretty perfect. There’s no feeling quite…
I haven’t had a spa day in years. So when I get desperate, sometimes I’ll just slather organic coconut oil all over. Since it warms on contact, it feels like your own personal sauna. And leaves your skin pretty soft. Just don’t sit on anything! If you search Google Images for Nene Leakes, she seriously…
Have you guys seen that mom jeans are making a comeback this spring? I am really torn about this trend. They look like boyfriend jeans with a much higher waist. Maybe they would keep the cupcake-top under control? Yeah, I don’t eat many muffins, so it’s definitely a cupcake-top. Or a potato chips-top. Can’t even tell…
Running late. Gotta get Stevie from school. Hurry hurry. Out the door. Crap forgot my phone. Can’t find my phone. Where is it? Seriously!! Stupid phone. Couch cushions! Nope. Charger! Nope. Oh well, guess I’ll worry about it later. It’s got to be somewhere around here. Cut to 2 hours later: Oh, it’s in my…
That moment when you spend all evening on the phone trying to track down your wallet at every location you’ve been to in the last 3 days, only to find it under the front seat of your car. I SWEAR I looked there first! A young guy in the mall parking lot told me I looked “hot” (!!!) Haven’t heard that…
Bringing a giant scarf with me is one of the smartest traveling decisions I’ve ever made. It was easy to wear without using up my valuable arm space, it worked as a blanket when I was freezing on the plane, and when I got sleepy, I rolled it up and used it as a neck pillow. I…