The therapists goals for today were to 1) build a relationship 2) play back & forth 3) create anticipation.
I stayed and played with them and tried to learn as well. We all sat on the floor and got to know each other while passing a ball around. The therapist gives me an activity record at the end of each session. Her notes said: First day working with Stevie. He responded when he placed a toy in a small bucket and therapist would dump it out. He was able to repeat this for a few turns, as well as look at therapist when she paused in the middle of the action. He was also interested in a “bumpy” ball that therapist brought. Throughout session, he would pass ball back & forth with mom and therapist. He would then occasionally crawl to mom and hang on her/hug her. {He really did hug me. He NEVER does that and he sat in my lap for a minute too – very rare} Stevie was also observed throughout the session “blowing raspberries” {duh, spitting}. Mom reports that he does this quite often. Parents have tried different ways to help him stop, but nothing seems to work. The plan is to have therapist meet with OT or Speech Therapist to help stop the behavior.
So overall, I think we met the goals for the day. He was well-behaved most of the time and played like we normally do. I know we have to start slow. I woke up anxious to start. I want to learn all the therapists tricks and I want to be aggressive with his treatment and I keep hoping for miraculously quick results. But truly, I think patience will be my best friend throughout this process. Just like with everything else. Baby steps for the baby!
P.S. On a side-note, after 6 consistent days of time outs (even a couple in public) as well as a round of hot sauce and even one spanking yesterday, the spitting is getting worse and worse. I can’t fight with the kid like this every day. Its way too exhausting. I know children push parents to the limit and want to test their boundaries, but this is ridiculous. When hubby left for work this morning, I couldn’t help but tear up, knowing that I was not ready to face this day. The lack of sleep doesn’t help, but I felt like if it was anything like the rest of the past week, I would be on my way to the nut house. It probably seems like such a stupid, small thing in comparison to so many other issues. Stevie’s will is stronger than mine, apparently. And in some ways, I don’t think he understands this. He is not at the level of an 18 month old developmentally. So maybe he’s just not ready for time out? And the therapist said it could also be tied into his sensory issues. I almost feel like I’m traumatizing him by acting/being angry so much. Who wants to be around that?! And its soooo not me. I’m not happy feeling that way. So I don’t have an answer yet. I don’t know what to do. But that’s where we’re at.
Oh honey! Breathe — you will never live these same moments again! Remember to inventory all the pleasant moments you have with Stevie every day because you cannot get them back no matter what. I forgot to do that many a time and I wish I had. He is a wonderful little man, and he will have to overcome those days when he was in the hospital. He may be just as frustrated as you because he cannot do all the things he wants to. Little people know what’s up! And he will get over it one day. I realize that just loving him may not seem like it is enough, but love is ALWAYS enough, because Stevie will know every day that you love him with all your heart. I so wish I could live closer to you and maybe shoulder some of the hard times with you. We all need a break once in ahwile. I see you being a much better mom to Stevie than I ever was to you – I was clueless a lot of the time as to what I was supposed to do. You have challenges springing up every day,and you are handling them the best you can. How much better are you supposed to be? You are wonderful and I love you – to the moon and back! MOM.
I think he’s probably too young for time out. I tried it with my kids at 18 months and had the same frustrations. My kids (who don’t have developmental delays) were just starting to grasp it at around 2 (which was right about when their communication skills started to increase a lot). I noticed time out became a lot more effective at 2.5 to 3 years when they start having conversations with you and understanding bargaining more (some kids learn this earlier, but mine didn’t). Anyway, they start to connect the dots when you say “if you do THIS, then you will have to go to time out”… and “you can get out of time out when you say your sorry” or whatever it is…
Anyway, the only thing that really worked for me at 18 months was to divert their attention away from the naughty behavior. This too can get exhausting, but they slowly learned…
I wish I could say that it’s going to be an easy process, but unfortunately it’s going to be a long hard road. I know, with me, there were times when I just didn’t feel like I could take any more, and then from somewhere, you find the strength and you just do it. You will too.
Maybe Stevie’s spitting is a sensory thing. Does he do it in a ‘naughty’ way or does he do it out of the blue, when he’s excited etc? It might feel really good to him. Could it be a way of him expressing a certain emotion? I would perhaps stop the time outs for a while. When it’s not working, try something else. You just need to find what the something else is. The therapists should be able to help you with that as they get to know Stevie.
I really feel for you, and sending you HUGE long distance hugs. Just know it does get better. xxx