Missouri Trip + Remembering Luke

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Can you even believe it’s been a year since my nephew passed away?

The phone call bearing the horrible news is still fresh in my mind, vivid as ever.  When I think about that day, it still makes me emotional.  When I think about the helluva year that my brother and sister-in-law have been through, it makes my heart ache in a way that I’ve never felt before.  When I think about the challenges that lie ahead for them, in their new family of 2, it makes me feel angry and helpless.

But being around them for the weekend also filled me with hope.  And that’s the good news.

There’s a bitter-sweetness to remembering Luke.  While we are lost and confused about why this happened, we are also brought together and filled with so much love for each other, it’s overwhelming. It fills my heart to the max, and then starts coming out my eyes in this weird watery form.  (Allergies probably)

But truly seeing all sides of different families with different backgrounds and different ways of life come together as one, with no separation, no judgement and open hearts and eyes is a beautiful thing.  We put all else behind us and have one unique purpose – to celebrate a life cut too short.  The very core of the word “family” was brought to it’s fullest potential this weekend.

We called it Luke-a-palooza and it was simply a 3 day gathering in one place to eat, drink and be merry, play games, make toasts and tell stories.  We will do it every year.  We will offer support and memories and that pure simple love for each other.  We will have some fun.  And at the very least, losing Luke has given us that.  He was the type of person who would have wanted it that way.

Miss you, sweet boy.  And love you, family, so darn much.

going places, missouri, joplin, carthage, lukeapalooza, nephew— flight left before the sun came up —going places, missouri, joplin, carthage, lukeapalooza, nephew — high fives after throwing axes at a tree… only in the country. —going places, missouri, joplin, carthage, lukeapalooza, nephew — my bro and his dogs —going places, missouri, joplin, carthage, lukeapalooza, nephew going places, missouri, joplin, carthage, lukeapalooza, nephew going places, missouri, joplin, carthage, lukeapalooza, nephew — ZEKE.  this dog is my spirit animal.  love him —going places, missouri, joplin, carthage, lukeapalooza, nephew going places, missouri, joplin, carthage, lukeapalooza, nephew going places, missouri, joplin, carthage, lukeapalooza, nephew — drinking games —going places, missouri, joplin, carthage, lukeapalooza, nephew going places, missouri, joplin, carthage, lukeapalooza, nephew — joplin —going places, missouri, joplin, carthage, lukeapalooza, nephew — campfire stories —going places, missouri, joplin, carthage, lukeapalooza, nephew going places, missouri, joplin, carthage, lukeapalooza, nephew— kids playing with torches… only in the country —
going-places-missouri-lukeapalooza-16— last men standing —
going places, missouri, joplin, carthage, lukeapalooza, nephew — snow —going places, missouri, joplin, carthage, lukeapalooza, nephew — sibs.  (my brother is there, just lost his beard halfway through the trip!) —going places, missouri, joplin, carthage, lukeapalooza, nephew going places, missouri, joplin, carthage, lukeapalooza, nephew going places, missouri, joplin, carthage, lukeapalooza, nephew

4 Comments

  1. I am glad you guys had a great weekend, even though it was bittersweet. My heart aches for you all! But I have no doubt Luke was there with you all enjoying hanging out with the family he loves! 🙂

  2. I miss that kids so damn much. But it was good seeing you guys this weekend.

  3. it’s weird to feel such a mix of emotions… *sigh and *yeah! all at the same time. excited to do it again next year!

  4. The best family a mother could ask for – they don’t write about this kind of love because unless you are part of it, there is no way to describe the depth of love, compassion, and shared loss. Although difficult, it also is beautiful….

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