Mondays used to be for Mom Style.  I enjoyed hamming it up, posting my goofy outfit pictures.  And there’s a bunch of stuff in my drafts folder to be posted.  But somehow, after everything our family went through the last few weeks, the things I usually write about, now seem so… stupid. I know life goes on, I’m just having a hard time transitioning my blog back to the same old stuff right now.  Favorite outfits and botched dinners and a shopping diet?  I mean, who cares?

But I do miss the light-heartedness of it all.  Simpler times, I suppose.  My blog has been telling the story of our lives – it has been my journal for the last 5+ years.  And I still want it to be us.  By nature, you’ll know I am not a sad person.  But I’ve definitely been sad lately.  I haven’t felt like myself.  And I am aware that no one wants to read about a sad sap all the time.

I suppose all I can do is ease back into it as I go along and as life gets back to normal.  Trust me, I use the word “normal” lightly!  Maybe posting my silly stories will help me feel like it’s going back to normal?  I don’t know.  There’s a strange guilt that goes along with that normality.  Because I know Mika & Jessica’s life is not going back to normal.  And it won’t be normal ever again. The sadness I carry for them in regards to that is indescribable.  I can’t compare it to anything else.  It might eventually get easier.  But it will never be the same. And that’s pretty hard for me to wrap my brain around.  I constantly think about how the pain and memories will return each day.  And then on Saturday mornings.  Then perhaps it will subside to every month or every year. Or maybe every birthday or holiday.   It might eventually get easier.  But it will never be the way it was.

This grieving business is a real piece of work.  Missing this fam so much today! Love you guys.
If you would like to learn more about my nephew Luke, donate to their family, or read up on anti-bullying movement, a website has been set up in Luke’s honor.  www.lukenugentmemorial.com.  His Facebook page has also been set up as a memorial site.  Please visit and share! There are different tabs which share information about him and the issues that are important to all of us.  The money they raise will be going toward more advanced and practical safety procedures in schools – and especially on buses, where Luke was bullied often, by much older kids.