This is a post I do not want to write.

Some of you already know that we recently had a tragedy in our family.  March 16th, 2013 marked the day we received the terrible phone call, letting us know that my younger brother and his wife lost their only son, 14 year old Luke.

I have tried letting the news of his passing sink in.  Giving it a little time to process.

But it just seems to be fermenting.  With each sympathy note and supportive, kind word, it just becomes achingly more real.

And I don’t want it to be real.

My brother seems to be handling it pretty well, but it can’t be easy.  I don’t want he and his wife to have to endure this.  To plan a funeral for a child.  I don’t want my mom to have to explain to people that she used to have 3 grandchildren and is now left with 2.  I don’t want to look at pictures of his visit this last summer and only be left with memories.  I don’t want his cousins to understand that he won’t be around.  I don’t want to lay awake at night with morbid thoughts of how or why.  And I don’t want to imagine what the rest of their family is going through.  It’s all just so raw right now.

We are on our way to Missouri under the saddest and most difficult of circumstances to offer whatever support we can.  It’s impossible to know what to say or do, but I only know we have to be there for my brother.  So that’s where we’ll go.  I don’t know how I will look him in the face and only be able to say “I’m sorry”, knowing the grief that is in his heart.  I want to take the pain away.  I want us all to wake up from this horrible nightmare.

We appreciate all prayers and thoughts of peace & comfort during the difficult time.