A preschool holiday party is one of those things that when you’re in the middle of, seems just fine and dandy. You tend to your child and try to have some pleasant small talk with the other parents.

But if you were watching from afar, you’d be convinced that you were witnessing an alternate universe war zone, where the children had overthrown the parents and taken over the entire cafeteria.

I realized this the moment after Stevie spilled his entire cup of mango juice in my lap.  I sighed and grabbed some napkins and as I sopped up the mess, I sat back and looked at all the madness around me.  One kid was kicking his mom in the leg because she had a 3 cupcake limit.  Another kid was crawling under the table back and forth until he tried standing and hit his head.  The little girl next to me tried shoving an entire piece of pie in her mom’s face.  Chocolate mustaches and sticky fingers everywhere. Lots of screaming and general lunacy.  And parents just smiling and sighing and talking about how we couldn’t wait for nap time.  Some of us looking like we’d peed ourselves.  Secretly wishing we could tie our children to a chair and go have a cocktail.

Have I set the scene for you?  Anyway, after the spilling incident, I took Stevie to the face painting room – where he actually let them paint a little wreath on his hand!  Then we went to the gingerbread house room – nope.  After some spinning and running and jumping and falling, we went to meet Santa.  Stevie walked right in and announced he was there by shouting “HI ANTA!!!!” Went right up to Mr. Claus, cutting in front of at least 8 other kids.  They gave little gifts to each child and then I bribed Stevie into leaving the party with a mini cupcake, which he promptly fell asleep with in the car.

I felt a wave of exhaustion come over my body on the drive home.  Sometimes that’s a good feeling, because you know you did your best to let the kid enjoy his day and just be a kid for a couple hours.

GOD BLESS THOSE PRESCHOOL TEACHERS.  I mean, seriously.