To put it ever-so gently, this week has kicked my ass.  One of those weeks that leaves me wondering how anyone – including myself – ever dared to think I would be cut out for motherhood.  A week filled with tantrums, screaming, and spitting from morning until night. A week where my body collapses in exhaustion at the end of the day, not necessarily because I’m tired, but because I’m emotionally drained. A week where I’ve yelled and cried and can’t comprehend whyyyyyyy.  A week where I dread hearing Stevie shout “MO-OOOOOM” from his room after nap time.  I’m not ready.  I’m not.  I can’t.  The usual tasks feel impossible.

So yeah.  All that.

After a good rain last night and a good weep session this morning, I tried really hard to muster up the patience to get through today.  And then one more day after that.  We went to Stevie’s favorite park and he played for 2 hours.  I shot some video, and took it as an opportunity to appreciate the little things about Stevie and how far he’s come.  You could say we both enjoyed ourselves in some way.  I don’t feel totally renewed or revived, (I’ll definitely need a mani/pedi and some alcohol for that) but it was the best 2 hours we’ve had all week.  I’ll take it.

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