As a kid, I was always pretty good about keeping a journal.  And that’s exactly what this was meant to be when I started blogging back in 2007.  I never knew that it would eventually be something cathartic or a place where I would turn for support.  It’s kind of a big deal to me, especially since I don’t have many mommy friends.  And I don’t have any friends whose children have had the same health issues – except for the lovely people I’ve met and talked to through the blog and other online resources.  It’s weird, but now with over 400 posts, (and Blurb books to boot) its just part of life to me.

I woke up with a different attitude this morning knowing I would give the time-outs a rest.  The fact that I wouldn’t have to fight with Stevie for hours on end took a huge weight off my shoulders.  I do often worry that he gets away with too much.  That he’s going to wind up an out of control 5 year old that people can’t stand to be around.  He already hits other babies and spits on people and is generally difficult to be around.  Oh, but when he’s sweet?  Well, God, he’s just the greatest.  But fear of failure as a parent can creep up pretty quickly.  


I blame a lot of my frustration on lack of sleep, but  I also think I forget how small Stevie actually still is.  We’ve been through so much the last 18 months that its hard to believe it hasn’t been longer.  But he’s barely been on this earth for the blink of an eye. There are things he’s going to grow out of.  And other challenges he will put in our way.  Sometimes I remember the things that frustrated me 5 months ago and I wish for those simpler days!  HA!  I guarantee I will get annoyed with him some more.  In fact, he’s being a little obnoxious right now, if you must know.  Haha! But I will try with all my might to keep the home as peaceful and happy as possible.


One thing that I’m becoming more convinced of is that Stevie’s spitting might be a sensory thing.  What?  Like, maybe he’s not just doing it to be a douche?!  He has a lot of “sensory things” so I am beginning to understand more about that.  We will try some chewy tubes and possibly a vibrating toy – uh, they make those for babies, right?  Maybe something like that will help.  His therapists will also address it and give me advice.  Everyone is willing to offer guidance and assistance.

Stevie getting “THE LOOK”

I just wanted to quickly thank everyone for all the supportive comments over the last week +.  I am grateful for every single kind word, good vibe and happy prayer that has been sent our way.  Keep ’em coming.  🙂