Hey Moms and Dads! Another question for you from the Mother of the Year over here!
As you’ve probably seen from a couple photos, we are still having trouble with Stevie spitting. *Sigh*
I’m happy to say that with food it has actually improved! We use toys that are too big to fit in his mouth as a distraction. And a little song and dance with each bite. Its not perfect, and you guys would want to punch me if you saw my song and dance, but the spitting has decreased significantly. Unfortunately, now he’s spitting more frequently throughout the rest of the day. And he’s spitting on everyone. Friends, family, people stopping to say hi at the grocery store, and complete strangers at a Dodger Game. It would be kind of cute if it was still just raspberries. Well, no, not really. But its way beyond that anyway. He’s going for the soak. The doctor has said its normal for his age group, but I think its just too much.
I, again, feel like we’ve tried everything to get him to stop. We ignored it for months. Obviously that didn’t work. We have put vinegar in his mouth. He liked it. We recently starting being more direct and sternly telling him ‘No-no!‘ He didn’t respond to that. Then we’d give him a light flick or smack near the mouth. He thought it was funny. Plus we don’t like doing that. And I feel like the more I say no-no, it just gets worse. We end up fighting about it for way longer than necessary.
We have had a couple people suggest time-out. So my question to you is…drumroll please…at what age do you think its appropriate to start doing time-out? Or if you don’t believe in time-out, what other methods do you use? Or do I have to wait until he outgrows this?! He’s 18 months now, and I don’t know how effective time-out will be, because I don’t even truly think he understands No-No yet.
But at this point, it’s either that or he’s getting squirted with a spray bottle.
Just kidding.
Yes, I have totally thought about it.
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| On a lighter note, doesn’t his hair look awesome here?! This was literally when he spit on a stranger at the Dodger Game who had turned around to say hi. You can’t make this stuff up! |
We do time-out here, and we use a thing I saw in a parent magazine called the Time-Out Pad. Here’s a link: http://www.amazon.com/Time-Out-Pad-HD015-Blue/dp/B001IMG5WG/ref=cm_cr_pr_pb_t You might have to do some searching to find one in stock. We love it because it does the timing for us and a little alarm goes off if the kid gets up. You can set the timer for various time amounts, and that helps keep us from forgetting about our son or daughter in timeout, because we totally might sometime! haha. It’s worked for us, and it’s portable, so you can take it anywhere instead of just having a special “time out spot” at home that leaves you stuck when you go other places. We are avid time out fans – good luck, girl!
Do it! Do it! Do it! (in the best possible cheer voice ever!) I agree with all of the above. I think that follow through is super important and if he isn’t responding then he gets to go to time out again. it may be an all day thing with that stubborn kid haha. i think he will start understanding and making the connection that hey, i don’t like this time out spot… might as well try it, and it may take a few more times than you want it too, but stick with it for a bit and see what happens. i think he will make the association.
Well, if you had an old scary wall heater in your house, you could use that as his time-out, temper tantrum spot like we used to in our old Oxnard house…:) I don’t know if you remember that? If you were having a tantrum, you could go all out as long as you were in your tantrum spot. It worked really well for tantrums, but with Stevie it is a little different. He seems to get some attention with his spitting, and it is difficult to ignore. For whatever reason, you kids always knew when I meant business, and I seldom had to put you in time-out. I guess you figured I would turn into a witch if you didn’t listen… I think you should give it a go, although you will have to get ready to wrestle with him to get him to stay put. You will grow more muscles! 🙂 Perhaps the upcoming therapy will help him and you address it in an appropriate way and meet both of your needs. Love you. Your ARE the mother of the year! Stevie is the cutest thing ever.. and yes I am in love with his hair!!
I might seem like the tough love guru (can’t spell that) but I’m big on time outs. With the boys we would consistently put them on time out for bad behavior. Not in an angry way just simply..ok, if you’re going to behave like that you can’t be around us. After awhile they didn’t need to go to time out anymore. We never used it as a threat so they knew we always meant business. We wouldnt respond to them until they stopped screaming or doing what we put them in time out for. Waited a couple minutes to be sure they were done crying then directly took them out. So they saw the contrast…oh, as soon as I stop crying I get rewarded! And as far as age goes.. ive heard you can use one minute for every year they are..one minute for a one year old etc. There’s a book we love called The Power Of Positive Parenting. Basically it teaches you how to ignore the bad and reward the good. Which reminds me…I should pull it back out for the teen-ager phase… Good luck momma. You’ll work it out!
In my many years of experience working with kids ” time- out” or whatever you want to call it. It has worked if you are consistent and foll0w the min per age rule. In stevie’s case min in a half. I think at as early as one they can start learning boundaries just like how they learn hot or cold things. give him a warning, then ” time out ” if he does it again. explain why you put him there. If your consistent he will not like it eventually. Tell those who watch him too.