1.  They look like a gang.  A yoga pants wearing gang.
2. They will never hesitate to whip a boob out.  You could really get an eyeful if all the kids are hungry at the same time.
3. They constantly shout at their uniquely named children and you will know all the kids’ names within minutes of a park playdate.  “Harrison, stop that!  Jordana, keep you hands to yourself!  Sasquatch, don’t throw food at Jambalaya!”
4.  As much as they stick together, if your kid hits her kid?  She will turn on you faster than a ballet dancer can pirouette.
5. Side eyes galore if they catch you peek at your eye iPhone.
6. Their expensive strollers and special blankets and baby Bjorns and giant diaper bags take up the entire picnic area.
7. They say they love the “village” mentality, but if you say something to their kid about playing nice, you will witness steam coming out of their ears.
8. A group of moms talking to babies is so high-pitched, puppies can be summoned.
9. There is always a fearless leader.  She gives off the vibe that she could shoot a squirrel out of a tree from 100 yards away with a rifle.  You know… if she had to.
10. They are all experts on something.  Which can come in handy and/or be really annoying.

And of course, this is all in jest.  Because you do what works for you.  You find your people.  Your support system. And hopefully your friends.  (Please don’t hurt me!)